by Deborah Wolfe
Once the centerpiece of a Norman Rockwell utopia, the American family was portrayed in the image of an apronclad grandmother, beaming with pride as a table full of wide-eyed children and eager adults anticipate the mouthwatering delight of a fresh baked turkey. But nearly a century after the iconic artist's first illustration appeared on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post, the meaning of family has wandered far from the nostalgic living rooms, county fairs and small town scenes of Rockwell's vision.As an increasing number of Americans travel the path of a transient nation, people often find themselves seeking the solace of family among a sea of strangers. Whether we travel for employment, adventure or love, there is always a part of us that longs to see a friendly face on the other side of the dinner table.
Starting a new life, in a new town, we take a deep breath and pray we will one day be embraced as one of the gang. If we are fortunate, we are welcomed by a group of friendly locals and eventually learn to fit in. As the years go by, our anxiety slips away and we realize that we were able to find family in what once seemed like a strange and distant place.
And sometimes we find family in a most unlikely way.
"Gary unlocked the doors, gave us the keys and said here you go 'now do something with it,'" Jeremy "JG" Gorham recalled of the day he and partner Tim Jones made the leap into entrepreneurship as co-owners of Shady Gator's with Gary Prewitt.
One of the most popular waterside venues at the Lake, the Gator draws boatloads of devoted patrons to the 7-mile marker to enjoy a unique mix of Louisiana-style cuisine, live music and poolside relaxation.
But Gorham stressed the venue was far from being a showcase when he and Jones got their first glance at the ramshackle structure five years ago.
"I kid you not," Gorham said. "It was disgusting. We barely had a clue as to where we should start."
But start they did and it was this daunting renovation project that brought them face to face with the person they agree has become the Gator's greatest asset.
"People ask me what Bennett was like that first year," Gorham said. "I tell them that it's hard to say because he barely spoke a word the entire season."
Known to legions of Gator patrons, vendors and staff as "Sergeant Benny," Bennett Wallace was a painfully, shy 14-year-old when his father, Denny, took a ride on his go-kart to welcome the new business owners to the neighborhood. Through frequent visits, Gorham watched as the timid youth stayed close by his father's side. Hoping to ease him out of his shell, Gorham asked if Bennett would like to lend a hand with the renovation and the rest, as they say, "is history."
"He started it," Bennett said, pointing an accusing finger at Gorham. "These guys needed me to come help them out and I was on board."
Watching Bennett speak with selfconfidence seldom seen in recent high school grads, it is hard to picture him as a bashful teen. It is even harder to believe he was once considered to have development delays.
Bennett's mother, Karla, held back tears as she discussed the years of academic struggles and worry as to what the future might hold for her only child. Stifling the memory of his initial diagnosis, she explained what made an average school day a nearly insurmountable task for Bennett.
"They say he is a kinesthetic learner," Karla said. "It just doesn't work for him to sit in a classroom and listen to a teacher verbally try to explain things. He has to learn through a hands-on approach."
As it turns out, remodeling a dilapidated, old water bar was just the kind of hands-on approach that would transform the timid teen into a burgeoning businessman. As the Shady Gator's "go to guy," Bennett's forthright manner and no nonsense work ethic have endeared him to customers, co-workers and especially his employers.
"I've played college basketball and coached kids," Gorham said. "Bennett's story is one of the biggest success stories out there."
"And his success directly correlates to the success of the Gator," Gorham continued. "Myself, Jonesy and Prewitt all agree. The Gator wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for Benny."
While Gorham proudly rolls through a list of Bennett's accomplishments like a big brother sorting through his sibling's merit badges, Karla is quick to credit much of her son's growth to his unconventional role models.
"JG and Jonesy both really took him under their wings," Karla said. "I don't think Bennett would of made this kind of progress if it weren't for their patience and guidance."
Though she admits to a few early misgivings about her young son working in an entertainment venue, Karla now believes that it has taught Bennett valuable lessons in both good and bad behavior.
And Bennett wholeheartedly agrees.
"These kids," Bennett said with maturity far beyond his years, "I try to teach them that they shouldn't drink so much and they can't drink and drive."
Much of that maturity was cultivated through years as Gorham's trusted sidekick.
"Bennett has followed me around for five years," Gorham said. "He knows this place inside and out."
Having worked in nearly every aspect of the Gator's operations, the sweat equity Bennett has contributed in checking in product, counting inventory, busing tables, cleaning the parking lot, cooking in the kitchen with Jones along with numerous other responsibilities has made him the star player in the restaurant's line-up.
"I trust Ben more than anyone," Gorham said. "I very rarely trust anyone with the keys, but I'll give Ben the keys to open up in the morning."
His tremendous work ethic aside, Gorham stressed that Bennett's best attribute is his ability to motivate others.
"I can come in and be in the worst mood," Gorham continued. "Then I see Benny standing there with that big smile on his face and I think if Ben can be happy so can I."
Gratitude for those positive contributions can be seen in this season's addition of a new menu item.
"We even named a sandwich after him," Gorham said. "You've got to try the 'Benny.'"
Gorham said summer is a strenuous endurance test for Lake Area hospitality crews as they strive to meet the nearly non-stop pace of the 100-day vacation season. As a Kansas City transplant, he knows firsthand the grind of seemingly endless workdays and the longing for the comforts of home.
"I'm a big family guy and it is really hard to be down here without anyone," Gorham said. "That's why we go to great lengths to look out for our staff and make them feel like we are there for them. They are our family."
Gorham takes comfort in knowing that once the majority of his Gator "family" returns to college at the end of the season, one very important member will remain.
"Shady Gator's is like my kid and Benny is like my little brother," Gorham said. "And he loves the Gator as much as I do."
Every family needs a matriarch and Bennett's mother, Karla, readily took to the role as a weekend hostess and on-call heart mender.
"These kids work so hard and they are away from home for so long," Karla said. "The girls especially need a female shoulder they can lean on."
Often called on for a little kitchen table first aid, Karla, teased Gorham for "screaming like a girl" when she recently applied peroxide to a few scrapes. It is the kind of goodnatured ribbing found among family members.
And the family presence at the Gator continues to grow.
Bennett's father, Denny, often jumps behind the wheel of the venue's shuttle bus on weekends and the recent addition of Gorham's own mother to the staff has brought the family full circle.
"To see how far the business has come in five years and to see how far our relationship has come," Gorham said. "It's just really a neat thing."
It truly is amazing that in a time when many blood relatives go years with out speaking, a casual welcome from a friendly neighbor led to a bond that will undoubtedly last a lifetime.
After celebrating his graduation from School of the Osage last May, Bennett looks forward to an even greater involvement at both the Gator and Bootlegger's in Osage Beach. Culinary classes at Lake Career and Technical furthered prepared him to assist Jones in the kitchen and he continues to immerse himself body, mind and spirit in day-to-day operations.
"I'm going to have to be here to help these guys out," Bennett said, discussing the inevitable staff shortage that comes with the end of summer season. "We've already lost a few and we've got a lot of work to do this winter."
As he rattles off a detailed list of exactly what that work entails, one can't help but notice the determination on Bennett's face. The child who was considered developmentally delayed has grown into a self-assured and driven young man. Work is on the agenda and one get's the impression that he will let nothing get in his way.
"He is the heart and the soul of the Gator," Gorham said. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, we wouldn't be where we are today if Ben hadn't come along."
Listening to Bennett speak leaves little wonder as to how a boy labeled as having "special needs" is considered truly special by those who know him. It struck this The Lake Today reporter that Bennett rarely talks about what "can't" be done. Nor does he waste time debating whether or not something will work out or fall into ruin. Instead, he assuredly states exactly what he is going to do and how he is going to do it.
In a world where most of us spend endless nights worrying about what course our future path might take, it is comforting to know that when dawn breaks on a new day, Bennett Wallace knows exactly where he will be and because of that, Shady Gator's is a much better place.
